Gatsby Crack
by Stormtiger
Summary: Bi Gatsby, High School Musical, and a special guest appearance by Zelda Fitzgerald! Don't miss it!


_AN: This is a school assignment gone completely crazy. BeautyandtheBender helped. We had WAY too much fun with this. Keep your eye out for Number 2!_

_This is an assignment about the Great Gatsby and the American Dream just so you know, and Zelda is Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald, and we KNOW you're going to flame. BRING IT!!_

Gatsby Dialogue

Zelda: (drinking)

Gatsby: Well you seem to be enjoying your self. What is that, your tenth drink?

Zelda: Sixth.

Gatsby: I recognize you from somewhere. Are you Fitzgerald's wife?

Zelda: Yes I am. My name is Zelda, Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald.

Gatsby: Lovely to meet you Miss Zelda. I'm Gatsby, Jay Gatsby, this is my party. Zelda is such an interesting name. Where does it come from? I've never met anyone named Zelda before.

Zelda: She is a gypsy queen in a novel that my mother read recently before I was born.

Gatsby: That is sooo interesting.

_Enter Nick_

Nick: Gatsby you wanted to speak with me?

Gatsby: Oh yes. Well, we can talk later.

Gatsby: So, Zelda, you seem to have part of what you want, part of your "American Dream" but you don't have the other part of it.

Zelda: Yes. I suppose that is true. Mr. Gatsby, what is your "American Dream"?

Gatsby: BLAH! I hate the world. I love Daisy.

Nick: She is a slutty dumb blonde hooker. I hate her!!

Zelda: I know, right? 'Kay I think I'm gonna go play Mario brothers now. Come with?

Nick: Maybe. No.

Gatsby: I'll come. If you like Daisy, that is.

Zelda: Sorry, no I hate her. Bye leaves

Gatsby: (silent)

Nick: Dude, you okay, man?

Gatsby: What. Did. She. Say.

Nick: Um…nothing. She said nothing. Did someone forget to take their pills again?

Gatsby: Yes it was Petey. Not me. Petey Wentz. He's HAWT!

Nick: He doesn't exist for 60 more years, moron. It had to be you.

Gatsby: Well, I was making out with SOME scary dude with tattoos this morning. What was his name? I forget. ANYWAY- that crazy bitch said she hates Daisy. I will not stand for this!!

Nick: You're sitting down.

Gatsby: FUCKIN SHUT UP!

Nick: It's okay. Let it out.

Gatsby: ANYWAY 2.0- what are we going to do?

Nick: Sleep goes to sleep

Gatsby: Wake up

Nick: No!!!!! Let me sleep, bitch!

Gatsby: Idiot. I'll just have to think of something myself.

Nick: SNORE

Gatsby: Ooh…you look so delicious in this light….anyway. So. Must kill evil Daisy-hating moron. Oh wait I just remembered it was Andy Hurley who I was with this morning not Petey. Mmmm.

Nick: Shut up Gatsby its annoying enough to try to nap at a bisexual's party. Don't make it worse with your cracky outbursts

Gatsby: Hate you. ANYWAY 3.0- okay, I figured out what to do- NO THANKS TO EVIL NICK-FACE! WE ARE SO NOT BFFLS ANYMORE-whack evil Nintendo girl in the head, then go do something, then go do something else.

Nick: Oh. That will work SO well because you seem to have so many other friends (no one even came to your funeral) I'm the only one you got so you better live with me. And also that plan is a loosah plan probably because you're a loosah

Gatsby: Oh yeah? Well, if I'm such a LOO-ZA, how'd I manage to bag not one, not two, but THREE chicks today. Oh! Dissed! PAWNED! Iced!

Nick: Dude, two of them were guys. Guys that aren't even born yet.

Gatsby: He-LLO, guys have stronger tongues.

Nick: You. Are. So. Sick. I'm leaving. leaves

Gatsby: No! Don't leave. He's my only friend.

everyone in party: What about those three chicks- two guy-like?

Gatsby: That's not the same. Oh, I'm so sad I could sing. I mean, cry. You know, I think I'll sing today.

_He walks away,   
The sun goes down,  
He takes the day but I'm grown  
And in your way,  
In this blue shade  
My tears dry on their own._

everyone at the party leaves

Ringing silence Because he's alone remember?

Gatsby: So sad.

Enter Daisy

Daisy: Hiiiiiiii. What is UP, super-turtle?

Gatsby: sniff I think you mean Turtle King wipes tear

Daisy: Pause

Daisy: I think you should SHUT UP!

Gatsby: makes out with her I love you Daisy this evil Nintendo girl hates you wanna go kill her????

Daisy: Why do you taste like guy?

Gatsby: pause

Gatsby: I am a guy. Remember?

Daisy: Oh. Okay. Right. I just thought…um…nothing.

Gatsby: What? You were going to persecute me for my beliefs, huh? Say it's a SIN to express my love to someone JUST because he has Y-chromosomes?? HUH? Is THAT it?? Well, little Miss Righteous, I'll have you know that Andy and Petey are BEAUTIFUL souls. I'm not afraid to say it! I'M NOT!!

Daisy: No, that's not it. It's just that you usually taste like raspberries.

Gatsby: Oh. Okay.

Daisy: Yeah. So- about killing evil-me-hater- I'm in!

Gatsby: YAY! I love you

Daisy: Yeah whatever. I'm married you know

Gatsby: EXCUSE ME?? I thought we are in this affair together. You can't have a one sided affair. Well maybe you can but that's because you are a FREAK

Daisy: Oh! You just reminded me of the best thing EVER! _We're all in this together, once we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that… _Come on, sing it, girlfriend!

Gatsby: starts to smile _We're all in this together, and we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that_

Daisy and Gatsby: WILD! CATS! EVERYWHERE! Wave your hands up in the air! WILD! CATS! In the house! EVERYBODY SING IT!

Gunshot in the distance

Daisy: Hey, wasn't that coming from my cousin's house?

Gatsby: Um….no. I mean yes. Yes it was.

Daisy: Okay. So…what now?

Gatsby: I'm thinking…Hairspray?

Daisy: Perfect! _You can't stop the motion of the ocean or the sun in sky…_


End file.
